Ever try being a human who eats the way God actually intended?

Today, with the kind elbow nudge of my girlfriend, I downloaded an app called Stupid Simple Macro IIFYM Tracker. As a 6’1″, 225 lb, 27 year old male, I was interested in macro tracking. It seemed like a good idea to avoid looking like a pudgy hard boiled egg with summer right around the corner.

At the time of this post we are about a month into quarantine due to the global COVID-19 pandemic. What that really means is, for the past month, I’ve opened my refrigerator door more times than I’ve opened my work email and cracked more cold ones than a professional ice sculptor. Maybe you disagree, but a global pandemic paired with an ice cold man soda is a combination comparable only to the number 69 and a childish giggle.

Long story short, I’ve been sitting on my ass gaming and eating absolute garbage for a month.

Tonight marked the completion of day one of macro tracking and I must say, I feel amazing.

A couple of take-aways from day 1:

  1. I have yet to find a practical way to meet my protein numbers without eating mahi-mahi topped with wild caught salmon and a side of baked cod.
  2. Egg yolk is actually the loogie of Adephagia, the greek goddess of gluttony.
  3. Dried seaweed snacks are less calories than chewing on your own breath.

2 thoughts on “Ever try being a human who eats the way God actually intended?

  1. Glad you getting positive motivations over this quarantine bro 😄

    1. Thanks Nick, appreciate you taking the time to read the first thing I’ve written since I was 18.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *